I've already started to think about Christmas gifts. And I've already started to plan my spring break. But really, I'm afraid of making plans for the distant future. Even one month is too far in advance for me to be confident in my scheduling.
The spring break thing is fucking with me most. Mark and I are planning on visiting Ann and Michael and tehir two baby boys. But considering how shaky the grounds our relationship stand on are, I'm not sure we should buy plane tickets yet. They'd be less expensive, but damn. If he buys a ticket to meet my sister fianlly, we have to stay together and happy for four more months. I've had relationships that soured after a week. Obviously, after being with Mark for the greater part of a year, I'm not too concerned about a week. But four months is 16 weeks. It adds up.
What if a week from now I start finding other guys attractive again. And then a week later he pays less attention to me, and in another week our sex life starts to head down hill. Shortly after that I feel unattractive to him and then I get depressed when I'm around him. I mean, the likely hood of this is low, but it's a sure fire possibility. And then spring break rolls around and all I want is a break from the city he lives in. But I have to take him with me.
Anyway, about gifts, I'm getting a cigarette rolling box for Carrie. She'll love it. And I'm getting a Michigan sweatshirt for Michael.