I feel that I am changed by my lifestyle more than my lifestyle is changed by me. I go through life as if it happens to me. I am a student, not by my own choice, but by the path that is mine. It almost sounds like destiny, but when it comes down to it, I have the choice to go to class at 8:30 or to sleep in. Every day I decide I am a student. Even on weekends. Thsi weekend, though I slacked on my blogging, I was very right with my worky part of homework. I got a lot done on projects that have distant deadlines. It felt good. And I got all that other crap done too. Co-op living duties, work on Friday, touch base with Claire, errands, call mom, set up plans for teh future, etc. That's another thing. I feel as though I am not the cause of my situation, as if I have nothing to do with the events that lead up to the present. But in reality, how else would those events occur? For example, I'm planning a trip to Colorado with Mark in order that he can meet my sister and her husband, I can meet my new nephew, and maybe Elijah can start to remember me, the girl that took care of him for months. This weekend, I took the first steps of organizing that trip. When it comes along and I find myself in my sister's guest room, I'll feel as if someone else had put this together and just plopped me down in Colorado as a favor. I may forget all about the airport, the money spent, and the time committed in that moment. It will be as though I'm dreaming reality.

It's funny how things are done. A moment ago, I hadn't writen this, and now look. It's right here in writing.